It's still dark and unbearably cold. It is hard to believe that the sunrise is just around the corner. It takes a rare breed of crazy to brave the January weather and arrive promptly at 6:30 a.m. to endure a different type of pain at the Reggie Lewis Indoor Track in the heart of Roxbury. There, groups of runners' swarm: all ages, all sizes, all types of people from all walks of life. Someone hits play on the loudspeakers-Eminem blasts in the background. People wave their arms above their head-waiting impatiently for their watches to sync with satellites far above the sky. They catch up with friends, they laugh, they stretch, and then they run. Logging hard miles with sweat dripping from their faces-they may look exhausted-but they are content and they always leave hopeful for the light of day they haven't yet seen. Its six in the morning and everyone seems happy to be there, happy to be comfortably uncomfortable.
What does it mean to be uncomfortable? Can being uncomfortable be more than a damp towel or seeing an ex at a friend's party? Can being uncomfortable push us? Is being uncomfortable good? For John Murray, a member of the 6 a.m. running group at the Reggie Lewis Center, the answer is yes-always yes. John is beat red as he crosses the finish line, it is hot inside the arena, a stark contrast from the below freezing temperatures outside. He finishes his las mile repeat and looks over to me laughing and exclaiming "it's always cold or hot-there is no in-between." He waits patiently for the rest of his group to finish, they are all members of a group known as the "Heartbreakers"-short for the Heart Break Hill Running Company, which sponsors these morning workouts. Watching each individual complete their final laps, it is easy to see the relief in their faces when they finish, and the confidence they exude. It makes one wonder if the so called "runners high" is indeed real, and prompts me to ask John what this phrase really means. He has an immediate answer: "Runners high? I can only describe it as the feeling you get when you realize your body is aching, your mind is begging you to stop and you keep going. It's realizing that in this one moment maybe you are invincible and you can make it." It sounds extreme, and John is a little extreme, an avid runner both as an athlete in college and post collegiately, he loves to run. But as he speaks to me, his fellow peers nod in agreement, they may not live and breathe the sport, but what John says resonates.
Running hurts, but it can also heal, inspire, and relieve. As the "Heartbreaker's" make one final huddle before parting ways, they admit to me: "showing up is half the battle." However, it is obvious this phrase has become a practice-crossing into all aspects of their lives, fostering a sense of intangible presence and commitment in each individual. Sarah Adler, a regular every morning and busy graduate student explains to me " Going to work, that is something you have to do, but this isn't mandatory. Every person here is here because they want to be, they are here for themselves." Staying grounded and staying uncomfortable are two different things, but maybe within the loops of an oval track, they can become one. Maybe, just maybe, exploring the outskirts of your comfort zone can actually provide us with the sense of self we all ambiguously long for.
